The family

So you've maybe read a few things about myself in here. How I've felt, what I've done, but I've not ever really given anyone an insight to my family. What goes on behind the scenes of the blog. So I thought I'd briefly just mention a few special people in my life, and give you a bit of background of who I am, and where I am coming from.

Most people, like myself, are a mixture of their parents personalities. But then this is because for your early years these are the people who have a fundamental impact on your life. These are the people that create you, and mold you and shape you. Every person is different, and every parent or set of parents has a different parenting style. Some smother, some let their children get on with things. There is no right or wrong way to bring up a child. At the end of the day it is whatever is instinctive to them. Many people will base the upbringing of their child on the upbringing of themselves. Others will realise that they hated the way their parents brought them up and try things a little differently.

Neith of my parents had what you might call an average childhood. Although in todays climate what an "avaerage childhood" is I don't know.

Mum
Mum's childhood was very different from my own. My mum (and uncle) were brought up by my Nan and my Grandad. Both of their parents worked when they were young, and for a long time my grandad was a bit of an alcoholic. Nan and Grandad worked to pay for his drinking habit along side the usual mixture of food and bills. My grandad though worried about things a lot, my nan was the more relaxed one. Of course the situation mum found herself in as a child has had an impact on her today. What saddens me is that she doesn't seem to have all that many happy memories from her childhood.

While Mum met Dad at quite an early age, it's clear that her childhood has had a profound effect on her today. My mum nowadays is a worry wart. She worries so much about everything, and while I find this incredibly annoying, I do feel sorry for her. There are so many things that Mum has missed out on because she is afraid. She is incredibly lacking in self-confidence, and yet if she were to let go just a little bit she's realise that there is so much more to her than she knows. I don't suppose mum would ever be brave enough to discover the route of her problems, but if she did I'd do my best to help.

For now though, she's happy with her material world, and I shan't knock it. She lives for decorating it seems. She's far more interested in the house than much of anything else. Although she's a cracking painter, and very creative, and there are some lovely pieces of artwork in the house that she has created.

This is another area where she is lacking in self-confidence. In this respect she is no different to anyone else. Most people do not believe that the masterpieces they create are up to much. This is because of the ego. And masterpieces can be anything from art to written work to speeches. Absolutely anything.

Mum has done the best she can for me, and although I rarely show it, I am very appreciative of everything she's done and everything she's helped me with in her own mummy type way. She's done everything she can for me, the best way that she knows how. And even though I'm not interested in hearing her nag nag nag, and am not her, I am like her in a lot of ways.

First and formost, she likes the finer things in life, and it has to be said that so do I. Although I am nowhere near as fussy as she is on most things, there are a number of things that I am fussy with. I'm not fussy on food as such, not the taste of anything, but I am fussy on the quality. I can't stand Tesco Value, or Asda Price things, because I am not interested in the cheapest of the cheap. Yet I will shop in Aldi quite happily; because it's cheap, and I don't feel like I am buying any old rubbish. Actually I have mum to thank for that because a few years ago she did shop at Aldi quite regularly. While Mum would take a 5 star hotel over a 3 star any day, I will quite happily camp. Although, when I camp I would like a good quality tent, and sleeping bag. Not just something dirt cheap out of Argos. I'm not that good at being a student. I'd rather spend the little bit extra on most items for a bit better quality, and a more luxurious (if there is such thing) living.

My biggest quabble about my mum is her inability to cope. She doesn't work, and has not really worked since my brother was born, and yet there are not enough hours in the day for her. Hoovering three times, tidying first thing in the morning and then a few more times during the course of the day, and then she wonders where the time went. She's not got confidence, and she's not built for doing too much because she gets stressed quite easily. I do not help. In fact I more than likely contribute to her stress, but I know that there will come a time when she will have no choice but to cope. And I have found over the last couple of years that if you try to help someone, it will backfire on.....them. The only person who can deal with anything really is oneself. If people help you, you begin to rely on that help, and when it is gone....all hell breaks loose.

Dad
Well, Dad......again he didn't have a typical childhood. He had lost both parents by time he was 16, and was brought up after that by one of his sisters. It seems that he jumped into marriage quite early on, and had been married and separated by time he met my mum. I suppose my dad had to grow up rather quickly in order to support himself, and coping emotionally with what he did must have been pretty tough. I am sure though that his parents would be proud of him now if they knew what he was doing, and could see everything that he has achieved.

Dad is the more laid back one of the two. In fact he was described by his friend today as horizontal. I often wonder how he manages with mum. I know I can't sometimes. She is a little bit too much for me. But Dad is very laid back, and lets most things go over the top of his head. He gets a bit on the frustrated side sometimes, but it doesn't often last. And I do admire the way he does just let everything go over his head. In fact I admire most things about my dad. He works so hard, very very hard. For the past year he has driven to London and back almost every working day. It's a long boring drive, and yet he does it for us. Dad goes to work purely to keep things ticking along. If it wasn't for dad doing his job, we wouldn't have a nice house. We wouldn't be able to do so much of what we do do. And I don't think Mum would cope with life as well as she manages to do with no so nice surroundings. This is not mums fault, it's just how things have turned out. Dad, alongside Nan is her rock, and she wouldn't be her without them. Maybe she's be stronger, maybe weaker, I don't know. She's got a lot of qualities, a lot of them she doesn't even realise. It's why I get so frustrated with her, because she never seems to fulfill her potential.

Back to Dad then, I don't know how he does it. I really don't. I don't like work. And it's not because I am lazy (although I am) it's because I cannot stand the day in, day out mundane routine, and monotony of working. It is however a necessary evil, and dad seems to manage it rather well. There have been times though when you can see that Dad is struggling a little, and some days I've really wanted to swallow my pride and just get up and go to work for him. Purely so he gets a break, and knows that the work wouldn't simply pile up. I don;t think he has an easy job either. He says it is, but it's well paid, and there is generally a reason why jobs are well paid.

Mum and I often joke about Dad being a miserable sod, but really he isn't. Dad does a lot of hard work, he does a lot of commuting, and doesn't generally get a lot of time for himself. One of us is always wanting something from him, if work doesn't, and for this reason he is a remarkable chap, and I do look up to him. In some ways I wish he'd been able to have a better childhood, and grow up at a more leisurely pace.

The hardest thing when it comes to my parents in general is that all three of us have had such different lives. Mine has been so different from my parents in fact that they are unable to understand how I am like I am, and I am unable to understand their view on things. I never had to grow up quickly. My life so far has not been disrupted by bad circumstances in any way, and yet it's never seemed fulfilled. I've got everything I've ever wanted. I've got no responsibilities, and on the most part everything is pretty plain sailing, but I am not whre I want to be. I don't really know where it is that I do want to be. I know it's not here, and it's not now.

My brother
I dote on my little brother, as do my parents. He's lucky in a way. Elliot, unlike me, will do anything for an easy life, so he'll just float along keeping people happy, and manages to somehow create a good balance between doing that and having his own mind and his own life. I prefer to have my own mind and my own life, but without the easy part.

He's 7 years younger than me, and he knows that I'm here for him whatever. There are of course many things that a young man wouldn't want to speak to his parents about. There are also things that he doesn't want to talk to any of us about, like your typical teenage boy, but he knows that I will do anything for him if ever he needs it.

He is the blue-eyed boy in the family, and why not? Why shouldn't he be. He's easy enough to deal with. Puts effort into his school work, and is bloody good at it too. Boys are easier than girls, and Ells is a classic example.

I remember when he was really little. He wont remember, but when he was and I used to get upset about something I'd always turn to him. He was only very young, probably 5 or 6, but at times when I was crying my eyes out unbeknown to anyone else, I'd drag him into my room, and he'd just sit with me. Haha, he never really know what to do either, but he was good. And still is. I think if I did need someone to talk to at any point he's still sit and listen.

He's clever and talented, and I believe that he will go far. He'll do very well for himself, and I'd happily let him come stay with me for a holiday when I go overseas. If he wants to.

I think he's a bit odd, but then boys generally are a bit foreign to me, and Ells is a teenage one too. He's a fantastic kid, and a brilliant brother too......obviously I am biased, but he's the best!!

Nan
Nan is fab too. She's pretty cool calm and collected. She thinks I am a bit odd, but then most people do. I do believe that she is a closet philosopher. She's pretty level headed, and keeps my mum sane. I think she's fab. She tries to give me tips on how to keep my mum happy, but I have too much pride to listen.



SO that's my family. I don't understand them, they don't understand me....and together we are on happy dysfunctional family. There are many more member that I'd give a mention to, really just my Gt Grandad and my Uncle, but I think this is enough for no

Thanks!