I think so...

Again today I was thinking deep thoughts on the subject of the inner relationships, and outer relationships. This whole caring thing has really got me thinking The only things I have read over the past couple of weeks or so are things that have come to me via email, or links that have been sent, or caught my eye as I've been sifting through a whole load of other stuff. And yet over the past two or three days, EVERYTHING I have read has been what I have given a thought to. Yesterday I think I had one of the best syncronicities ever, I will share it when the time is right.

But I was thinking about how much I don't give...or do, but in the wrong way. I do the big gestures to make people feel good. This is the wrong ways to handle things. Big gestures of course make people feel loved and stuff, but then this only lasts a while, and then there is a comedown after wards, and they want more, but don't get it. I suppose it's a bit like the effects of drug-taking. Yes, that will be my analogy.

Someone who cares properly will be like a good drug. And by a good drug I mean will make those that they care about feel like they are on a never-ending high by doing a multitude of small things, with minimal negative effects. And while other people don't make people feel like this all the time, it does not mean that they don't care. It just means that they don't care in the way that the other person needs or wants. Thus no good. Love is the same thing, but don't let it trick you. If it does, if you let it, you'll be stuck in the cave forever.

I learned to believe in myself. Really, honestly, I am the only person that I can really totally believe in, because I am me. It is still important though to have faith in other people. The difficult part is deciding who to give that faith to. But then I think that something will let you know. It will let you know in weird and mysterious ways, and you'll just know.

Now then. On a level of caring, I shall make an effort to do it properly. No longer will I be so damn self absorbed, scared and awful. Where I find myself now, I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I do think it's going to be necessary for most people to get on with things. Am I really happy....no? Are you? Have I been happy recently? truth be told, no. I haven't really been for quite sometime, and it will be a while before I am. But you know what, I like where things are going. I like what's going on, and I like the fact that I can smile now, and know that next time things will be different, and quite possibly much much better.