Intuition breakthrough?

You are the first on my list,
And there is only mist
When there is no you.


kay, so these seemingly random three lines that popped into my head while I was thinking about things and stuff....These words could actually be quite significant in my development as a person...or spiritual development. Development of the mind, the body the soul, whatever it means to you. But my own personal development of some description.

I know that the first line is from a song, I was listening to it only yesterday, but it got stuck in my head, but the next part I made up, and quite liked it. I did however like it so much that I doubted my ability, and thought that there was no possible way that it could have come from lilly moi. So I typed it into google and did a search on it to see if anything came up. Nothing came up, hoorah it's all mine.

What I did find though amazed me no end. I came across a blog called "mists of the soul". What I read was remarkable, but then I wonder if I am telling myself something. Am I telling myself that being away from what I don't want to be away from is what I have to do to learn things?!

Sometimes I think these things are the hardest. When there are things that need to be done but you can't bare to do them. It hurts your head and your heart to do them, even if they are right. But these things are sent to try us, and it doesn't mean that what you don't want will be forever. Maybe it's needed for things to progress.

I give you a couple of quotes from this blog that I have been reading...

"Mist crowds my minds, driving away thoughts...mists are a place to rest[...] In the mist thoughts can drift and turn and combine and that is a place of creativity [...] In the mist the turmoil of emotions calm again, giving peace for a time. [...]Mist is a refuge from the outward world. You can practice your spirituality, pray for all your blessings, and soothe your grief."

"Souls, working the path of spirituality, waver and leave the path. This is a know fact. Some leave it for decades, some forever, some for just a small break. Finding your was back to the Soul's pathway, is easy really. Just look for the clues. Yep, CLUES. You and/or the One have left them laying all over the place for you. Maybe a sacred rock in a drawer, A line from a book, a affirmation, a sunny day, or starlight night. They are as varied as there are stars."

"That person helped make you who and what your are today. The closer and more time you spent with them makes them a big part of you learning on the soul pathway. Never ignore that, or close the door on that learning, even if it is tinged in pain of grief. For with the learning came love and that is light energy, given and taken and that is "real". Swim in that love, emerge yourself in it and be whole for whatever time you have with someone, and with yourself."

Okay, so that last one makes me wonder. What is it to be whole? I want to swim in that love. I feel for no one what I feel for the amazingness. Someone who has taught me so much, and I go on and on about him, and how great he is, and bla bla bla. I know what love I feel, and I understand that it's not real love like what love should really be. It's not, real love is something that very few people will feel...I know this, but it's a tad difficult to explain. And don't let what I say question how you feel in your heart. Love is a very difficult something to have and feel, and you can search for it all your life, but may not experience it, because to experience it, you have to find it within yourself.>

And now I am lost, I know not what to think. Not what to think of it and him and anything and everything. What does it tell me? What do my dreams tell me? They have been vivid of late, and I've found them so packed full of emotion. I've pondered on some for years, and haven't give a second thought to others. I don't remember them in the traditional sense, when I wake up, I see something during the day that triggers the memory.

Indeed often I feel with regards to everything that I am banging my head against a brick wall. But I keep getting chances...is this going to happen until I get it right? Until we get it right? What is getting it right? Shy or not?