I’ve never let jealousy get the better of me. I have watched it destroy many friends’ relationships, and I have always been very determined that any jealousy I will swallow quickly. Trouble is, that this is one of those things that is easier said than done, and it does come back and bite you on the bum.
Currently I am jealous of every relationship a friend of mine has. I’m jealous of their counsellor that sounds so bloody brilliant. I cannot compete with that. I can’t compete with all these people on TV who look stunning because they have make-up artists who do it all for them. I am jealous of people that have a certain colour of hair, just because they might be more appealing than me. In fact I am jealous of everyone that a friend of mine has met and left a lasting impression on, and everyone they will meet in the imminent future. I am jealous of their relationship with members of their family, particularly their parents, because I’d love this to be the case with my own, but my family-life is nothing like theirs.
This is all simply down to the fact that my self-esteem has become so low of late that I just don’t feel I have anything to offer them as a friend anymore. And the only thing I can offer is something that I myself am very unsure about, not really any good at, and fills me with fear and dread.
The fact of the matter is that jealousy is a massive part of a persons ego. It is not a nice quality, but unfortunately is it one we all possess, and we all will be a victim of at some point in our lives. No matter where it stems from, the only thing that determines what it does to you is to react in the right way. For example if someone is jealous of you for being beautiful or clever, and you pick up on this, really you should feel flattered that they have obviously let you get under their skin enough. If you let them make you feel bad you may end up with a massive complex about yourself, this will lead to a huge blow in confidence and self-esteem.
I’m not sure how one combats the jealousy in themselves. I suppose the answer for me would to be to think rationally about whether these people, particularly those on the television really are a real threat to my friendships? And are old friends and ex-partners a threat? Probably not. So why is the jealousy there? I think it’s triggered by a whole host of feelings. If I remember right, the ego is the thing that makes you believe that you deserve nothing. So the ego, pride and jealousy are all very closely linked. Depending on how big your ego is, I guess determines whether you succumb to it, or battle it with everything you have got. I hope, for my sake, and other friends’ sake that I don’t succumb to this, because once you succumb to an emotion of this kind it can destroy not only you but the people around you too.
No comments:
Post a Comment