Solitary confinement - alone in a world you created on your own?

I wrote this on, I think, 28th August, around 3 o'clock ish. However I have since misplaced it, but will write it as if I was there.....

Here I am sat in a Leisure Centre, supervising 26 French kids. However I am not worried about these kids. They all get along great, and seem to be integrating with the English children who are also here rather well. My attention has turned to the little English boy.

He was happily attempting to play tennis with some of the other English boys. He's clearly one of those children that just can't get to grips with sports. Much like I was, although I never made the effort, wheras he is making th effort. Anyway, these other English kids were making snide comments about the boys ability, and when other came over to play they tossed him aside like a piece of rubbish. He went to play table tennis with some of the French girls, but again was not all that good. It appeard from where I was sat that they were very encouraging, but being on your own with some French ladies, well it can't be an easy task. He continues to flit between groups, but doesn't appear to fit in anywhere. It's very sad indeed.

There is always one. There is always somebody that doesn't quite fit in. That is alienated form the group. In this case the only thing the boy has done "wrong" is by not playing sports quite as well as some of the others. He hasn't been rude or obnoxious. He has made efforts.

It makes me wonder. We are all alone. We are all living proof of that, but I often wonder whether at some stage we were not all alone. If at some stage we were actually far more alike and were far more able to relate and empathise with oneanother. It's clear in this boys case that somewhere there is a sense of belonging, the want to relate to and converse with others. To share experiences. Did suddenly while the human race was developing the wrong word get put in somewhere, meaning that kabow. Somebody suddenly has this whole new perspective on things that they could not control or understand. Did this esculate and is the reason that we are all now alone because over years we have been pushed aside for the better deal. The kid who can play sport?

As the brain and mind has developed over time then are we constantly fighting the hurt whilst at the same time loging to belong, leaving us in no real state of security, without us even knowing.

Anyway, it upsets me to see the boy wondering around on his own, desperately trying to fit in somewhere. In fact I want to cry. I'm emotional these days and feel myself about to well up at any given opportunity, so is that part of my conditioning? Is that part of me wanting to belong, and yet fighting it every step of the way.

Poor kid. I'm not so sure that we create our worlds on our own. I wonder how much this experience will affect this kid. Whether he will end up a recluse, or a complete extrovert to cover up the damage. Will he even realise where the damage comes from? Will anyone?!