Only Time Will Tell

It has to be said that things can change dramatically in only seconds, so how can we plan for tomorrow?

It is impossible to know what exactly we will be doing in a few days time, let alone a few years.

Of course I, like most people have a 5-year-plan that I intend to stick to, but circumstances change so quickly that I have had to accept the fact that other things may be hiding around the corner that may accelerate that plan, or indeed mean it will never happen.

We can only really think a couple of days ahead, even that will change rapidly. The trouble with a 5-year-plan is that it is usually an idealistic view of the future. This leads to expectations, which generally leads to dissapointment.

I am all up for the idea of living for today, living for now, it’s the only time we have any control over our circumstances. Tomorrow may never come. The 5-year-plan may never come. By all means work towards your goals, but ensure that what you do do you enjoy doing. If you don’t, ask yourself, is it worth doing? Work out alternative ways to carry out your plans. Ways that you can enjoy them.

Think deeply…is it a realistic goal? Is it really what you want? You may find, if you ask yourself enough, that actually you need a new plan, because things inside you have changed since you devised your plan. You’re not the same person anymore, and the plan is no longer a realistic one in your frame of mind.

Life is a gift. You should enjoy every experience with a fresh outlook and with a positive approach.

Be pro-active

Use your intuition

Reflect and think

Be true to yours truly

Above everything be happy. Enjoy the ride. Life really is what you make it, and the only person you can make happy… is yourself.

Forget What You Thought You Knew 15/10/2007 23:25

Because most likely, and more often that not, you didn’t know it anyway.

I blame the media, constantly filling people’s minds about all kinds of rubbish, about all kinds of things.

I didn’t know this time last year what I know now, and I don’t know now what I will know this time next year. I, as most others am on a journey, a quest for knowledge, and for a bit of truth in this world of lies. To go on a quest is to question most of everything. Answering questions with yet more questions, and yet whilst doing so, finding the answers to many more questions.

Not all questions have simple easy answers, and some don’t have answers at all….but the world is full of ideas, themes, knowledge and beliefs, all of which are also following a journey. Key ideas may change over long periods of time, and sometimes only very slightly, but whilst we develop these ideas further, we ourselves are developing further, and we are needing to ask more questions, and answer those new questions with yet more questions, whilst still finding answers. The more we learn, the more we can learn, the more we can questions, and the more fulfilled our knowledge will be, and so on and so forth.

Wipe the slate clean, forget what you thought you know, because if you dig deep enough you will find out that, in fact, your life is full of superficial thoughts, beliefs and truths. They are superficial because most are hidden. The world is better described as being filled with lies and corruption.

I plan to take a journey around the sun, find accept, and understand the questions I ask and the answers I find and remain truthful to myself.

I HOPE YOU WILL DO THE SAME!!

The Road Ahead

Why do we constantly argue with ourselves in our own minds? We argue away inside about hat is right or wrong; what we really want out of life, and what we’re going to do when The Bill finishes.

This process generally leaves us feeling exhausted and unsatisfied.

Debating the debatable.

Dreams 12/10/2007 12:32

As a child I was scared stupid of fire, and rather regularly I had nightmares all involving fire. Does the meaning of dreams, like most things change over time, just as we do?!

Most spiritually type people say that seeing fire in a dream is a good thing. It mostly down to spiritual preparation for things that are going to happen.

Nowadays, if I have dreams of or visualisations of fire in my mind it doesn’t scare me at all, but when I was younger I would wake myself out through sheer terror. Of course dreams all have meanings, and I am one of the lucky ones that remembers what they see, i write dreams down when I get the chance, and it’s appropriate. Writing them down though is only a relatively recent development, and so I wonder whether the fact that I remember dreams from when I was younger that I didn’t write down as a constant reminder, is for a reason.

Was there something in those dreams that I was supposed to look back now and see do we think? I am guessing so, or why else would I remember them for years, and suddenly have a interest in such things? Either that or I was so scared by it, that I have never been able to forget.

It Could Be a Blessing In Disguise

Well indeed it could, but it’s not ever really something you want to hear when something goes wrong. Trouble is that mostly this is the best outlook to have when something does indeed go a bit wrong.

You learn from your mistakes, and ore often than not, things that go wrong are a result of your own actions. The reason why people have strokes of bad luck is because they see everything that happens around them as being bad. The trouble is that when people think bad thoughts they only get bad things. And too many people settle for the bad things.

I could be one of them, but I don’t intent to succumb to the things that are going on around me making my life difficult. For example, I am a student, and my finances are in a dire state. I’ve spent the last couple of months convincing my bank, and credit card companies that I will have my student loan by 1st October, and will pay them everything I owe (and that’s a lot) when it comes. Due to issues surrounding the post I will not be getting my loan for another 2 weeks, so I am quite sure that they will be on my case rather soon. At this point I could crumble, be miserable worry constantly about my finances, or I could be pro-active about it, tackle it, and get on with things. The plan is rather than to worry, borrow some money off the bank of Mum & Dad, out this money in my bank account, call the credit card companies, and then offer token payments until my loan comes through. This means I wont incur even more charges, and reduces the risk of a bad credit history etc.

This problem is a result of my own actions, and I made my mistakes by involving myself further in credit cards because I wanted an easy life in the financial sense. Well that backfired didn’t it. Most people would in fact worry, and end up with debt collectors coming around. The reason; they believe that they can’t do anything. There will always be someone who is willing to lend you a small sum, even if it’s only a tenner, just to get these people off your back. It will tie you over until you can get your hands on some proper money.

Thing is, bad things have to happen. If nothing bad happened ever, and you went through a blissful life, well that would actually be amazing. And even if things did go wrong constantly, well you can actually still lead a blissful life. Something can always be done, no matter what the problem is. The world is full of people who are worse off than you, until you get to that poor sod who’s at the bottom of the food chain so to speak, and is miserable as sin. Now we look at this person who is very very miserable, and then look at someone who has been through the same things….what separates the two? What makes one happy and one sad? The answer…their outlook on life.

Make the most of what you’ve got, learn from your mistakes. Take note of the cycles you seem to go in, whatever it may be, money, love, career choices….and break those cycles, or you’ll end up in a never-ending loop of “badness”. Tackle problems head on, rather than thinking that if you ignore them and avoid them they’ll go away. THEY WON’T!

I firmly believe that the outcome of your life, the people you meet and various other things you will meet regardless of what happens, because everyone comes into your life for a reason, and everything happens for a reason. It’s not until you are old and on your deathbed that you’ll understand why what’s happened has happened, and why people walked in to and out of your life. But you can make things one hell of a lot easier and much better for yourself if you keep a smile on your lovely face =)

He Who Analyses Too Much Misses The Point 11/09/2007 23:03

And isn’t that so true.

I’m guilty of this; I know I am...when I think of something I really go into a deep thought about it. People spend so much time weighing up the pros and cons of any situation, circumstance and offer.... and before you know it you’ve ruined it.

Music for example, and adverts. I mean if you study something a bit technical about music of advertisements, well I’m sure that means you’ll be really critical of it, and rather than sitting back and relaxing to a piece of music, or watching an add and thinking “Oh I may have to try that product” you say.... ooooh that drum isn’t right, or they could have made that ad campaign better by.........

I mean, why don’t we take things at face value, say oh okay, and be done with it. Instead we read into everything.... every gesture.....for example.....your man buying flowers....you instantly think they are feeling guilty about something, when just maybe they want to show that they appreciate you for a change?!

People come up with so many theories of life.... and sometimes I think...why even wonder about the point of it.... if you spend time wondering what the point of life actually is, you loose out on that time to enjoy yourself right? Unless of course you enjoy analysing music, adverts, and life...then I suppose it’s okay.

Again, another blog with little point...but just felt that it was worth a thought...but don’t analyse it, or you’ll miss the point.... of which really.... there isn’t!

Happiness, Happiness, The Greatest Gift That I Possess

About a week ago now, I sat and watched The Pursuit of Happyness. I watched it because, and only because it has Will Smith in it, but as with most things nowadays it got me thinking. One line in particular stood out to me, and that was this…

“It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that? “

This line is so powerful and beautiful, and it got me into such a deep thought....a thought I was really excited about.

What really is happiness?! How do we know when we are happy?! Is happiness real?! Is it an actual real emotion, or is it just a word someone came up with. How can you tell that you you are happy, can you explain to someone else what happiness is?!

I asked Stew about happiness....I sent him a text sometime in the last couple of weeks saying

“You said to me once not so long ago that you were the happiest you’d ever been, with your new philosophy of life and stuff...I am wondering how do you know what happy is?! We get told what all these emotions are and stuff, but do they actually exist, or do we just get made to believe that they do?”

To which he replied

“Its good your thinking this way, but happiness is what you make it. It easy to teach, its harder to learn what it is without an open mind”

So the pursuit of happiness....I am firmly in the belief that true happiness does exist, but that true happiness can only be found by having experienced true struggles and tests...not just the ones that are brought on by bouts of self-pity that you have only yourself to blame for, but real struggles....

For having the belief in yourself to overcome those struggles.....when you overcome these major struggles and pull yourself to right, and continue to believe in and love yourself....well that will lead to one euphoric moment....that euphoric moment is HAPPINESS.

There are thousands of ways of describing the good feelings that you get....happiness is used far too widely and loosely, and I think it has lost it’s true meaning. Happiness is the one defining moment of your life. It is that one defining moment that only you can feel and nobody else...but at that moment you will be so overwhelmed with emotion...and you will never forget it.

I wish to have one of these moments, and as I lay on my “death bed” I wish to look back over all my life and remember this moment above everything else.

So back to the film, not the best film of all time....but it worth watching it just to see how someone can overcome struggle and hardship, and how someone can experience happiness....it is worth watching the whole film for the line I quoted earlier...and this

“This part of my life… this little part… is called ‘happyness’.”

Do You Really Think What You Think You Think?

Well....I’ve been wondering this for a little while....the blog following this may explain why.....I don’t know what it’s going to say yet...haha so actually it might not =)

So dreams....they are seemingly random images that come from your sub/unconscious....many people don’t ever remember them, some people do, most that do dream, dream in black and white, and a few dream in colour.

Dreams mean a lot more than people think. As the great Carl Jung realised they are random images, but they have meaning.....everything you see in your dreams is a message for you to work out, and see, to understand things deep within you....things about you that you might not even know are there....they can show things you want....things you don’t want....troubles you are going through....troubles that may come....but best of all, they show you how to overcome many things....you just need to spend a bit of time looking at them and reflecting on them. Which is actually very easy once you’ve given it a go a few times.

So do you really think what you think you think?! And what I mean is that some really random though that may pop into your mind at some random time....well if dreams mean something far different from what it at first seems....then why don’t thoughts.

For example....a thought such as “I wonder what Italian cows look like” could actually really mean something like “I think I’ll have spag bol for tea”...hummm...not quite the philosophical or spiritual thing I was going for...but that was quite random, and could actually be a symbolic representation of something else.....if that makes sense.

And are there thoughts that run through your head that you choose to ignore....the things you don’t like to think you think, but actually you do....I have no idea....but I intend to do some reading on this matter to see what happens =)

A Good Or Bad Year?

So far this year has been a bit of a roller coaster ride. There are two ways to look at it.....I could reflect on the year as a whole and think to myself that it’s been pretty rubbish. I’ve been in love with someone, and hated them...I’ve been miserable and turned into a bit of a recluse for a while. I dropped a load of friends for a while, and a load of friends dropped me...but I think the year so far has been amazing.

To start off with, way way way back in January the 3rd January to be precise Stew found me on Myspace. Although we have had our ups and our downs over the past 8 months, it has to be said, that for all the times I’ve hated him, loved him and not understood him, he did something for me that nobody else has ever done. Stewart introduced me to this whole new world, this whole new life that I never knew existed, and yet it has always existed. I thank him very much and think he is an absolute star.

For ages I was bogged down with it, I let all these bizarre things consume me, I thought about and analysed everything. I saw things in people that I never saw before, I saw people’s bad sides too. I didn’t want to be around people, I only wanted to be around one person, who also happened to be the person I wanted to be around least.....sounds odd I know, I’ve only realised this recently. As much as I love Stew, and of that I am certain, the turmoil my mind went through almost everytime we met or communicated by any means, simply says to me not to bother, and I understand that now, it just took me while to see it.

Anyway, this whole new world. It is a world full of corruption, and people being fed information that is a whole load of rubbish to dumb them down so that they can’t think for themselves. People being told how they should and shouldn’t behave, what’s normal, what’s acceptable. This happens everyday, and nobody notices. I do not understand why, or how people can’t notice, but it’s so true. It’s not all bad though. The good in this world far outweighs the bad in every way possible. But the majority of people have never seen the good in the world, for they are fed and fuelled by media and news...which is more often than not bad news. An earthquake, bomb, war, famine.....all these are negative things....trouble is the more negative things people see, the more negative they feel about the world we live in and never bother to see the good stuff. TRY IT!!

The good stuff.....well the good stuff is you. It’s me. It’s your loved ones. It’s everybody. The energy that people have running through them however is generally used to negative effect. People don’t know how to be positive anymore. Look past the bad stuff, I dare you. If you look back over your life, forget the bad bits....remember only the happy bits. The times when you felt good, you had fun. Dance a little....just do a random jig every so often. Listen to music that takes you back to that time. Music is amazing....you meet someone and have nothing in common with them....but music moves everyone in different ways....speak to someone about music, what kind they like...wow!!

So I started to think more positively about most stuff....admittedly not everything....and as soon as you change your mindset everything seems so much better. Try it, please do try it....and if you don’t believe me that changing your mindset is the only way possible to achieve something....well Shaz recommended a book to me, it’s called The Secret....I’ve only read about 20 pages, but it’s backed up so much stuff that Stewart taught me, and that I though myself already, I cannot believe it.

It’s funny, at the end of 2006 I didn’t want to come into 2007 because it’s a odd-numbered year, and I am a bit superstitious....but from the word go the year has been good. Like I say it’s had it’s ups and downs, but I’ve had experiences that this year have changed me as a person, changed my mindset, changed my way of thinking. Bought me new friends, helped me communicate better with old ones....and given me the most amazing and intense feelings I’ve ever felt....and it’s all down to one message at some weird time on 3rd January from a person I kinda recognised , but didn’t at the same time (I did work out who they were the next day), who from their Myspace profile sounded interesting, and had me feeling something for them straight away....

I said this to a friend a couple of weeks ago about an old friend that walked back into her life.....I’m sure she wont mind me using a snip of the advice I gave her.....

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friends come into our lives for various different reasons, and fulfill certain things....I guess you never really know what until you sit back in a million years and reflect on all the relations you’ve had with people, and maybe then when you have the perception it will become clear. We learn more about these things as we experience things....we at this precise moment are far tooo young and ignorant to understand this fully....but there is definitely something in what I just wrote.

Anyways, if a person is worth having in your life then they will be in your life at random times, for random lengths of time, and will often leave and re-enter it faster than you can say Bobs your Uncle!!

Now I’m not saying that because this person has miraculously just found you that everything will be back to what it once was....I’d think of it like starting a fresh if I were you...forget all the problems you had in the past.....after all, you can’t change what happened, that time has been and gone....you cannot tell at this moment what will come from this friendship.....all you can do is go along with what is happening at the present moment. live for you, and live for now. If you want this person in your life them welcome them back and let go of past happenings....or they could destroy things in the present....do you get what I am saying?! Make of that what you will.....it’s a bit cryptic I know, but the only way to learn these things is to work it all out for ourselves....other people can influence you, but only YOU can follow your heart!!

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My verdict:- A good year, and things can only get better